Office of National Statistics Memo

To: All Staff

From: Sir Humphrey Appleby, Permanent Secretary to the National Statistics Office

Subject: Data Collection and Analysis Procedures

Greetings,

As a member of the Animal Republic's Office of National Statistics, it is incumbent upon you to undertake the collection, collation and dissemination of data in an impartial and scrupulously unbiased fashion. As a holder of the full census data, as well as the ability to conduct additional surveys, it is imperative that you exercise the utmost circumspection and objectivity in your handling of the information at your disposal.

It is imperative to bear in mind that, as a civil servant, your role is one of subservience to the needs of the citizenry and not the promulgation of any particular agenda or point of view. Every effort must be made to eliminate any potential personal biases and to ensure the veracity and accuracy of the data presented.

It is also important to recall that your role is not that of a spin doctor, but rather one of providing objective and impartial data to all parties, allowing them to make informed decisions based on fact rather than fiction.

In summary, your role is to provide the facts and permit the politicians and the general public to arrive at their own conclusions. Be cognizant of the fact that your data may be utilized to support a variety of differing perspectives, but it is your duty to remain neutral and to furnish the truth without fear or favour.

Sir Humphrey Appleby

Permanent Secretary to the Office of National Statistics

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